Transparent plots to buy votes are cynical, effective, political scientists find
OTTAWA, ON ― A new survey of political scientists found broad consensus that financial giveaways are a both arrogant and very successful strategy to curry the favour of voters too shortsighted to…
Weird! Woman’s comfort show doesn’t have any monsters or murder
LONDON, ON – A local woman has shocked friends and family by revealing that her favourite comfort show contains neither fantastical creatures, nor grisly true crime homicides. Vanessa Parker, 34,…
Poilievre looking forward to blaming Trudeau for economic effects of Trump’s tariffs
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre couldn’t contain his glee today upon hearing the news that Donald Trump plans to enact a 25% tariff on Canadian goods as soon as he takes office. “Our largest trad…
Defiant Joe Rogan insists he’s not a propaganda asset, just actually this stupid
AUSTIN, TX – Following comments on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, where multi-millionaire podcaster Joe Rogan blamed Ukrainian defence for “causing World War III”, the podc…
Local man hoping for Christmas miracle of Canada Post employees surrendering collective bargaining rights
Brandon, Manitoba – Robert Jones is praying for a miracle as the Canada Post strike enters its second week – the miracle of postal workers putting down their picket signs, shutting the fuck up, a…
EDITORIAL: Why my cheque giveaway is great whereas Doug Ford’s cheque giveaway is desperate and terrible – by Justin Trudeau
Hello. It’s me, Canada’s most popular Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. Here to tell you all the good news – that I feel your pain. I don’t mean feel your pain in a literal …
Opinion: Bluesky is a dangerous echo chamber because no one wants to hear from me, specifically
By Freya Grosvenor-Kent Two years ago, Elon Musk bought Twitter. I personally didn’t have a problem with that, because I’m a common sense centrist who nevertheless only writes about how mu…
Restaurant lets customer pick lobster they want to fuck
HALIFAX – To the delight of its longstanding customers, Jimmy’s Seafood and Steak Shack has recently installed a 200 galleon tank full of live lobsters so customers can have their pick of which o…
ICC issuing arrest warrant for Netanyahu clear proof of court’s bias against genocidal maniacs
The Hague, Netherlands – The International Criminal Court has issued arrest warrants for Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defence Minister Yoav Gallant in a clear demonstration of i…
